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In a tiny loft, somewhere in northern Michigan

©2017 by Robert Bruce Adams, Author and Humorist

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  • Robert Bruce Adams

Fast Food Delight


I'M SITTING IN A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT with a cup of coffee and burrito in hand wondering why I chose to do this?

Circumstances, such as my local grocery store not yet being open, caused this slight diversion. What an experience. Does the Michigan Department of Health not regulate such fast food stores? It seems E. Coli in lettuce, or in my lake, makes the news these days. This place is below any standard of cleanliness acceptable in my book.

I’m guessing they are counting on people staying in their cars for their business survival securing their morning vittles in a paper bag dispensed through a window. At least it seems that way with priorities; the creation of two new vehicle ordering lanes and the sloppy condition of the inside eating area seems to support this observation.

My grade school friend was a lawyer for McDonald’s her entire career. During a high school reunion party some years ago, she expressed that her specialty was handling employee dismissal issues. At the time, her attention was directed to two consenting employees who had sex in the restaurant’s dumpster after business hours. I blended these various thoughts and decided that a dumpster was about as inviting for such acts as the floor under the table at which I was sitting.

As I left the restaurant and headed to my grocery store, I concluded that I like eating breakfast at home. Where to have sex would need some further ruminations.


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