MY SENSE OF HUMOR has saved me many times during life’s trials. Sadness is also in the equation, but its role is to bolster happiness. You’ve got to feel the pain, and then put it aside.
For instance, after a rocky first year of marriage with my second wife, I read that getting a dog might help troubled relationships. So, after sharing this with my wife, we decided a miniature Dachshund was just what the doctor ordered. I remarked to my in-laws that using this line of reasoning could have easily justified our opening a kennel. They looked past my remark to keep things civil. I thought the remark was funny… and more than truthful.
A few years later, the dog had been placed in a new home because of his penchant for biting my oldest child’s head. The two of them did not do well on the kitchen floor together; one of them had to go. About this same time period, I was fishing with my father-in-law and took the opportunity to ask him if he had any insight and suggestions for handling his daughter’s unhappiness and rather prickly manner. His response, “You can get used to anything except hanging.” That was a point of view that took some time to digest. His advice must have had something to do with his being in a landing party of Marines in 1945 readying to invade a remote South Seas Island full of Japanese soldiers.
It wasn’t too long after that brief exchange I arrived home one evening after golfing to find my clothes and books strewn in the front yard. My wife apparently didn’t realize that covering the pachysandra was not a good idea as they turn yellow at the slightest upset. My quick thought - a new chapter in my life was beginning, and I would also be purchasing a new non-stick frying pan. They both came to me in just about the same instance.
If I didn’t find humor in these difficulties, I likely would have succumbed to depression. A condition, while self-serving, is not very healthy in the long run.
I recently read an article in an on-line psychology tutorial that advised once you have developed a balanced sense of humor in a relationship you will find that the positive effects are far-reaching. Laughter is the best medicine; it may also be the best aphrodisiac. Couples who laugh a lot seem to have healthy sex lives as well as healthier relationships.
I’m sorry, but this guy must have gotten into CBD usage early in the game. I doubt the wisdom in advising an unhappy partner that having a sense of humor would improve their sex life (maybe with one’s neighbor).
So, how do you keep positive during these life-changing calamities? Wearing a smile night and day is a key starting point and a darn good one.